Marriage (Part 1)Submitted by Pastor Chad Wagner on Sunday, October 6, 2013.
For a master copy of the outline and the other sermons in the series, click here: Marriage. To listen to or watch the next sermon in the series, click here: Part 2. Marriage I. The importance of this study. 1. Marriage is a picture of Christ and His bride the church (Eph 5:22-32). 2. Marriage was God's design for mankind, even before the fall of man (Gen 2:21-25 c/w Mat 19:4-6). 3. Marriage is also the cornerstone of the family and society itself. 4. There's a war being waged by the devil on marriage and on the roles of the husband and wife within marriage so as to destroy the picture of Christ and the church, to undermine God's law, and to destroy the family and society. 5. We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves and not be conformed to this world. II. Definitions. 1. Marriage - 1. a. The condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between married persons; spousehood, wedlock. 2. Husband - 1. The master of a house, the male head of a household. 2. a. A man joined to a woman by marriage. Correlative of wife. 3. Wife - 1. a. A woman: formerly in general sense; in later use restricted to a woman of humble rank or ‘of low employment’ (J.), esp. one engaged in the sale of some commodity. 2. a. A woman joined to a man by marriage; a married woman. Correlative of husband n. III. God created marriage and therefore He defines it and puts guidelines and restrictions on who can be married in His word. 1. When God created Adam, He said that it was not good that man should be alone so He made him a suitable helper (Gen 2:18). A. God made Eve for Adam out of one of his ribs (Gen 2:21). B. She was called woman because she was taken out of man (Gen 2:23). C. Eve was created for Adam, not vice versa (1Co 11:8-9). 2. Marriage was God's plan when He created Eve for Adam (Gen 2:24). 3. Jesus affirmed that marriage between one man and one woman was God's plan from the beginning (Mar 10:6-9). 4. God created Adam and Eve, not: A. Adam and Steve B. Madam and Eve C. Adam and Eves D. Adams and Eve 5. Therefore any type of "marriage" such as "gay marriage" that differs from God's original definition of marriage is a wicked, ungodly abomination (Rom 1:26-27). 6. God also restricts marriage to one man and one woman for life (Rom 7:2). A. When a marriage covenant (Mal 2:14) is entered into by a man and woman, God joins them together and binds them to that covenant (Mat 19:6). B. Therefore while they are both alive, if one of them marries another person, he/she commits adultery (Rom 7:3). i. It matters not if they have divorced; the remarriage of either of them to another is adultery (Mar 10:11-12; Luk 16:18). ii. Adultery - 1. Violation of the marriage bed; the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with one of the opposite sex, whether unmarried, or married to another (the former case being technically designated single, the latter double adultery). iii. Adultery can be committed in the heart, as well as physically (Mat 5:27-28; Job 31:1; Pro 6:25; Pro 24:9). C. There are two exceptions to this rule of no marriage after divorce. i. If one spouse commits fornication, the other spouse can put them away and marry another (Mat 19:9). a. Fornication - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a man (in restricted use, an unmarried man) and an unmarried woman. In Scripture extended to adultery. b. To put away is to divorce (Mat 5:32; Mat 19:7; Mar 10:4). c. Put away - 39. b. (put v.) trans. To send away, dismiss, get rid of; to reject; spec. to divorce. d. Divorcement - 1. The action of divorcing, or the fact of being divorced; dissolution of the marriage tie; divorce. e. Divorce - v. 1. trans. To dissolve the marriage contract between (husband and wife) by process of law; to separate by divorce from. 2. trans. To put away (a spouse); to repudiate. (1526–34 Tindale Matt. v. 32 Whosoever maryeth her that is devorsed breaketh wedlocke.) f. Divorce - n. 1. Legal dissolution of marriage by a court or other competent body, or according to forms recognized in the country, nation, or tribe. Formerly and still often (e.g. historically or anthropologically) used in the widest sense; hence, including the formal putting away of, or separation from, a spouse by a heathen or barbarian; the pronouncing a marriage to have been invalid from the beginning owing to fraud, or to legal, canonical, or physical incapacity of the parties, as in the ‘divorce’ of Henry VIII from Catherine (now called in English Law decree of nullity), and the ‘divorce a mensa et thoro’ (from bed and board), long the only ‘divorce’ recognized by English law, but now, since 1857, called ‘judicial separation’. But, in strict legal use, now applied in English-speaking countries only to the dissolution by decree of court of what was in itself a legal marriage, upon grounds sanctioned by the law, and upon evidence accepted by the court. g. Writing a bill of divorce precedes putting away a spouse (Deu 24:1-3; Mat 19:7). h. Therefore, a man has not put away his wife until they are formally and legally divorced. i. Therefore, for a man to marry another woman after his wife has committed adultery, but before they are formally and legally divorced, is for him to commit adultery. j. This includes dating or having a romantic relationship with another woman, (which would at the least be adultery in his heart (Mat 5:28; Job 31:1), and possibly even physical adultery), before he is formally and legally divorced. k. Therefore, a man dating another woman prior to his divorce being formally and legally finalized is no different than a man dating another woman when he was happily married to his wife before she committed adultery, since in both cases he is still legally married to his wife because a legal divorce is not yet complete. ii. If a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever departs from the believer, the believer is free from the bonds of that marriage (1Co 7:15). a. Depart - II. To go apart or away, with its derived senses. 5. intr. To go asunder; to part or separate from each other, to take leave of each other. b. The departing of the unbeliever could be departing the marriage or departing from the believer geographically. c. The bondage in this context is being bound unto a wife (1Co 7:27). 1) Bondage - 1. The tenure of a bonde or bond after the Norman Conquest; tenure in villenage; the service rendered by a bonde. Obs. 2. The position or condition of a serf or slave; servitude, serfdom, slavery. c. transf. The condition of being bound or tied up; that which binds. 2) Bound - ppl. adj. - 1. a. Made fast by a tie, confined; fastened down; bandaged: also fig. 3) Why do you think they call marriage a "ball and chain"? d. It is the brother or the sister (the believer) that is no longer under bondage if the unbeliever departs. e. The believer is free to remarry, but the unbeliever is not; just as the spouse who was the victim of adultery is free to remarry, but the spouse who committed adultery is not free to remarry (Mat 19:9). f. God honors those who honor Him (1Sa 2:30). g. A believer is not free to put away an unbeliever if the unbeliever is pleased to live with him (1Co 7:12-14). D. Though He hates it, God permits divorce under certain guidelines. i. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16). ii. God permits believers to separate or divorce, but they must remain unmarried or be reconciled to each other (1Co 7:10-11). iii. Though they can separate, they cannot marry another person as long as they are both living, as this would be adultery because they are still bound to the covenant of their marriage (Rom 7:2-3). iv. Though separation and divorce are permitted, but certainly not encouraged, you better think long and hard about breaking your vow to love and cherish each other for better or worse till death do you part. a. Divorce is devastating to children. b. The pain for children never ends, even when they become adults. c. Divorce is ultimately the result of selfishness on the part of at least one, and almost always both, of the spouses. d. Think about your children before you decide to give up on your marriage. e. Your decision will have life long consequences for them and you. IV. Though marriage is for most people, it's not for all. 1. Paul said by permission, not by commandment, that it is better for a person to remain single as he was (1Co 7:6-9). 2. Being single is a good thing (1Co 7:8). A. It allows you to care for the things of God instead of caring for a wife or a husband (1Co 7:32-34). B. It allows you to attend upon the Lord without distraction (1Co 7:35 c/w 2Ti 2:4). C. Given the present distress and the distress that may be yet future, it might not be a bad idea to be single (1Co 7:25-26). D. If you do end up being single for life as Paul was, just remember our time here on earth is short and it's not going to matter in a relatively short period of time whether you were married here on earth or not (1Co 7:29). E. There is no marriage in heaven, so there is no eternal benefit to marriage; so if you don't find love in this life, it won't matter when this short life is over (Luk 20:34-36). 3. Celibacy is a gift that not all have though (1Co 7:7). 4. If you don't have the gift of celibacy, it's better for you to marry (1Co 7:9).