David's Life - A Warning to Christians (Part 4)

C. David didn't restrain and discipline his children. i. David never displeased his son Adonijah at any time (1Ki 1:6). a. In other words, David never told him "no". b. Fathers, it is your job to displease your children often. c. Your job it to first make them holy, and then happy. d. Foolishness is bound in their hearts and they will naturally make the wrong decision nearly every time if left to themselves (Pro 22:15). e. You must be like Abraham who commanded his children, not left them do whatever they wanted (Gen 18:19). f. This was not just a failure of David, but of other great men of God too. Consider the pillars of faith who failed in this most basic duty: 1) Eli did not restrain his sons (1Sa 3:13). A. Eli knew of the iniquity of his sons and still did nothing. B. God judged his house forever because of that (1Sa 3:14). C. God only gives a limited time of repentance and then judgment comes without remedy (Pro 29:1). 2) Samuel's sons did not walk in his ways either (1Sa 8:3-5). A. It's not stated specifically that Samuel didn't train up his kids correctly, but if he did, it would be the exception that they departed from it (Pro 22:6). B. Samuel should have learned from his teacher Eli's mistakes. 3) Ministers must have their children in subjection (1Ti 3:4-5). 4) A minister's children must be faithful and not unruly (Tit 1:6). ii. Adonijah apparently wasn't the only son whom David didn't restrain. a. Amnon raped his sister Tamar (2Sa 13:10-14). 1) When David found out about it, he was very wroth, but did nothing about it (2Sa 13:21). 2) The law of Moses demanded death for rape (Deu 22:25). 3) A good king must judge righteously, even if it is family (Pro 20:26). 4) A pastor likewise cannot show favoritism (1Ti 5:21). 5) All Christians must not show favoritism, even if it's their own children who have sinned (Jam 2:1,9; Deu 13:6-11). 6) If your children are church members and they commit sins which merit exclusion, you must choose between them and God. Choose wisely. b. Because of that, Absalom killed Amnon (2Sa 13:23-29). iii. Because of this poor parenting, two of his sons, Absalom and Adonijah, committed sedition and tried to take the kingdom from him. a. Absalom stole the hearts of Israel and attempted to steal the kingdom from David (2Sa 15:1-12). 1) Absalom was killed because of his rebellion (2Sa 18:9-15). 2) The news of Absalom's death broke David's heart (2Sa 18:31-33). 3) Once again, David was putting his rebellious children before justice and his duty as king, for which Joab rebuked him (2Sa 19:5-8). 4) David's deep sorrow for the loss of his son could very well have been due to the fact that he was taking responsibility for it for not training and restraining him as he should have. 5) Death of children can be the result or poor parenting and the consequential rebellion of children (Pro 30:17). 6) How many children have died due to drug use, drunk driving, gang violence, or AIDS because their parents failed to train them up properly and restrain them? b. Adonijah, another one of David's sons, tried to usurp the kingdom from him at the end of his life (1Ki 1:5). 1) This also was the result of poor parenting (1Ki 1:6). 2) David was able to install Solomon on the throne before he died (1Ki 1:28-39). 3) Though spared by Solomon for a while, Adonijah was eventually killed (1Ki 2:21-25). c. Three of David's sons were killed because of their wickedness which could all be reasonably traced back to David's poor fathering of them. D. These things were written for our learning and admonition (Rom 15:4; 1Co 10:11). i. Though David was a man after God's own heart and was abundantly blessed by God, he also suffered a lot of pain and sorrow for the poor decisions he made. ii. David never lost his eternal blessings from God, but he lost a lot of temporal ones (2Sa 23:5). iii. We should take heed to the failures of David and other great men of faith so that we don't repeat their mistakes and sins and pay dearly for it (1Co 10:12).